Thursday, June 24, 2010

Lottie Logic #4 - conspiracy theory

I thought it was a once in a lifetime experience - until today.

Our Miss Calico ruled this house with an iron paw and not in a nice way. She tormented our Darling Blue Dog, even when he was in his wheelchair. She was the only one who rejoiced when he died and declared herself the ONLY only child. When BlackJack arrived she made it her life's work to wreak havoc with him. She barely tolerated the humans in the house.

When our Miss Calico turned 16 "someone" kidnapped her and immediately replaced her with an exact Miss Calico replica, but sweet. Nice to BlackJack, got in bed with us at night and let Bob pet her until she fell asleep. A sure sign this wasn't our cat. We explained to friends who knew her, but thought we were crazy.

But I experienced another kidnapping today. Went to see Mom at dinner time, brought her a chocolate malt as always. The meanest resident of the nursing home is sitting at Mom's table. I fear her. Took Andie, Sweet Andie, with me one day to visit Mom. Nasty lady is sitting at Mom's table. Sweet Andie turns to nasty lady (before I can warn her) and says, "Hello, how are you?" Nasty lady nearly bit her face off. Nasty lady is on oxygen. Andie and I both whispered about squeezing the little tube BUT WE DIDN'T.

Anyway, I sit down next to Mom and Nasty Lady says, "How are you, Lottie Kate". Mom calls me Lottie Kate. I nearly fell off my chair. I said, "Fine." Nasty Lady says, "What a pretty blouse you have on." I held onto my chair and said, "Thank you." Nasty Lady continues, "How nice of you to bring your Mom a malt." I got scared.

I know what you're thinking. It's a nursing home - someone gave her nice pills. Well, if they had nice pills that would work on Nasty Lady, don't you think they would have given them to her months ago? No, "someone" has kidnapped Nasty Lady and cloned someone just like her to replace her just like they did Miss Calico. There are no nice cat pills.

"Someone" is out there and they're targeting humans and fur people. You have been warned.
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