Monday, August 10, 2009

Furry compost

Furry compost

You have a dog with long fur. Friends who never interfered when you raised your child now insist you must buy The Furminator for your dog. You have a very nice brush for your dog that you never remember to use, but you’re tired of being harassed. You buy the Furminator. Later you realize your brushes, shampoos, hairspray and dippity do, all don’t add up to the price of The Furminator. But your puppy loves you unconditionally, as you love him, so off to the pet store.

The first brushing produces a pile of fur larger than your puppy. You swoop it up and throw most in your compost pile while spreading hunks of fur close to your bird houses. The next day, the same amount of brushing produces another puppy size pile. Oh. You go to Home Depot and buy a couple of 20 gallon plastic trash cans. They fill up in 3 days. Oh. You don’t Furminate for a day or two and worry mountains of puppy fur await.

Here’s the solution. Every other night when you walk your dog, stop at the end of the street. Under the light of the street lamp brush one fourth of your dog. Every street light thereafter, brush one fourth of your dog. When you turn and retrace your steps the fur will be gone, even if it there’s not a breath of air stirring. No one knows why. Perhaps your neighbors ran out, scooped up the fur for their compost pile. It’s too dark for you to know or care, so keep walking. Remember birds all over your neighborhood appreciate puppy fur for their nests and the neighbors prefer dog fur over dog poop in their yard any day or night.

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